Are knives “ladies”?

I have seen knives referred to as “lady” or “lady knife “and I began thinking about that and wondering what possible connotation the word lady could have when describing a knife. But now after ruminating on it awhile, it makes some sense to me. To be honest though, I am not sure that what I have come up with is what others may have meant when using the phrase.

Some knives are like a beautiful woman in that they need no makeup, their lines and carriage are perfect, and many men are drawn to them. In a word, they are sublime. Then there are other women and knives that hide their flaws with make up or distracting baubles, and many men are drawn to them also.

And then there is another type of woman and knife. This group seems to have adopted, or had bestowed upon it by their makers, a mixture of unrelated and uncomplimentary styles making them hard to define. I think they must be the human or cutlery versions of the Cadillac in the Johnny Cash song, One Piece at a Time. And of course, some men are drawn to them as well.

Like some women some knives can be depended on and should be treasured, while others are fickle and should be avoided. Some men spend their lives pursuing the later type and consequently suffer one disappointment after another. Some women are high maintenance and others are low maintenance, the same for knives.

After squandering a lot of time trying to get a good handle on this whole lady and knife thing and being only marginally successful, I really don’t understand a whole lot more than I did when I started. But it was a way to fritter away a snowy morning sitting by the fire, thereby avoiding going outside to do things that actually need doing, so I guess it wasn’t a total loss…

Copyright 2012 Bill North